Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize