what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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