Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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