The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
