so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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