Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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