Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
