..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
