he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I had to cum in my sink.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
