You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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