Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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