Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
