my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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