it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We need to get me chipped asap
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
