He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
