omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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