Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
