Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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