Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The air was thick with penises
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
