Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
