just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
