I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
