he shaved USA in his pubs
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
