I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
