worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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