Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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