I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
