note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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