That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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