It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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