If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
