Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
