wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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