I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
