Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
