Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
