I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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