singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize