So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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