Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize