My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
