smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
time to smoke my breakfast
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
