Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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