in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
