Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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