Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
