This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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