YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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