we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
