Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize