Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
