Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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