Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
