I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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