oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
