i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
