I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
