I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
