its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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