she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
