I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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