Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
